How to use a dildo: a step-by-step guide for guys
Choose the right size, warm up properly and find the angle that hits the spot, then clean up the easy way.
A dildo is the simplest toy there is, and one of the most rewarding. Used well, it’s a great way to explore on your own, practise bottoming or hit your prostate exactly how you like it.
Pick the right one
- Start smaller than you think: around 2.5 to 3.5 cm wide and 12 to 15 cm insertable is a comfortable first dildo.
- Body-safe silicone or glass. Skip porous jelly toys.
- A flared base or suction cup is essential for anal use: it stops the toy slipping all the way in.
- A slight curve makes it easier to reach the prostate.
Not sure how big to go? The dildo size guide compares sizes, and how to choose a dildo covers materials and shapes.
Step by step
- Get comfortable and in the mood. Being aroused makes everything easier.
- Lube the toy and yourself generously. Water-based lube works with every material.
- Warm up with a finger first.
- Press the tip against your hole, breathe out and gently push out as it slides in. Go slowly.
- Rest once it’s in, then move it gently in and out, or hold it still and squeeze around it.
- Add lube whenever it starts to drag.
Find your prostate
Your prostate is about 5 to 7 cm in, towards the front of your body (towards your belly button). Lying on your back with your knees up, angle the dildo slightly towards your stomach. A curved dildo or a prostate massager makes it easier. You’re looking for a firm, rounded spot that feels intense rather than sore.
Positions to try
- On your back, knees up: easy to control and the best angle for the prostate.
- On your knees with a suction cup on the floor or wall: hands-free, and you set the depth.
- Squatting or riding a suction-cup dildo on a smooth surface: deep and very controllable.
- In a harness with a partner, for strap-on play.
Clean it after
Wash it in warm water with mild soap or toy cleaner, rinse, dry and store it apart from other toys. Glass and silicone without a motor can also be boiled briefly. Our toy cleaning guide has the details.
Tip: Suction cups stick best to clean, smooth, dry surfaces: tiles, glass and mirrors. Press firmly and give it a little twist.
Dildos
Good questions
What size dildo should a beginner use?
Around 2.5 to 3.5 cm wide and 12 to 15 cm insertable. You can always size up later.
What lube should I use with a dildo?
Water-based lube works with every dildo. Silicone lube lasts longer but shouldn’t be used with silicone toys.
How do I hit my prostate with a dildo?
Angle it towards your belly button, about 5 to 7 cm in. A curved dildo or prostate massager makes it easier.