Prostate play for beginners: how to find your P-spot

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland just inside your ass, and for a lot of guys it’s the key to deeper, full-body orgasms. Here’s how to find it and enjoy it, whether you’re using fingers or your first toy.

Where is the prostate?

It sits about two inches (five centimetres) inside, on the front wall, towards your belly button. It feels like a small, rounded bump that’s firmer than the surrounding tissue.

Getting started

• Relax. A warm shower first and deep breathing help more than anything else.
• Use plenty of water-based lube.
• Start with a finger (nails trimmed) and a “come here” motion towards your belly button.
• Go slowly. The feeling can be subtle at first and builds with arousal.

Using a prostate massager

Prostate massagers are curved to reach the P-spot without any aiming. Insert slowly with the curve towards your front, let your muscles settle, then switch it on at the lowest setting. Many have remotes, rotating or “fingering” motions, and built-in cock rings.

Hands-free orgasms

Some guys can cum from prostate stimulation alone. It usually takes practice, patience and a toy that stays in place, so don’t chase it the first time. Enjoy the build-up.

Tip: Only use toys with a flared base or a handle, and stop if anything hurts. If you ever notice pain or bleeding, see a doctor.