How to last longer in bed: tips and toys that actually help

Almost every guy has finished sooner than he wanted at some point. The good news is that lasting longer is a skill you can practise, mostly on your own, and the practice is fun. Here is what works.

Learn your point of no return

Edging means bringing yourself close to orgasm, stopping just before you reach the point where it becomes inevitable, letting the feeling drop, then starting again. Repeat it three or four times before you let go. Over a few weeks you learn exactly where your edge is and how to ride it.

The stop-start and squeeze methods

• Stop-start: when you feel close, stop all stimulation for 30 seconds or so, then continue.
• Squeeze: when you feel close, firmly squeeze just below the head of your cock for a few seconds until the urge passes.
• Both work with a partner too. Agree on a word or a tap that means pause.

Breathe and relax

Fast, shallow breathing and tense muscles speed things up. Slow, deep breaths from your belly, relaxed thighs and a relaxed pelvic floor slow them down. Kegel exercises (squeezing the muscles you use to stop peeing) build the control to hold back when you need to.

Toys that help

• Cock rings keep blood in your erection, so you stay harder for longer. Stretchy or adjustable rings are the easiest start.
• Glans trainers and vibrators such as the tongue-licking glans vibrator are built for endurance practice: use them to edge on purpose.
• A stroker with a tight sleeve lets you practise edging with a sensation closer to sex. See how to use a male masturbator.

When to talk to a doctor

If you usually finish within a minute or so and it bothers you, it is worth seeing a doctor or sexual-health clinic. Premature ejaculation is common and very treatable, and there are options beyond these tips.

Tip: Wear a cock ring for no more than 20–30 minutes at a time, and take it off straight away if you feel numbness, coldness or pain.